Labels

Sometimes labels are used as a mean way to describe something or someone. And once given, that person is forever stuck with a permanent reminder of their mistakes. Cheater. Thief. Addict. And sometimes they're the opposite. Sweet. Loyal. Friendly. And most importantly, sometimes, they save your life. Diabetic. Epileptic. Several years ago when we began this journey with Reid I searched for his label. Confused by all the strange symptoms, nothing fit. I wanted to know the cause. The root of his issues. Because to me, until I found out WHY I wouldn't know HOW to help him. When I dove head first into the Asperger world everything fit. Perfectly. I was not ashamed to put this label on him. To me it was what he had, not what had him. If you take Asperger's away Reid is a million more things. He is not just my son. He is a brother, friend, a young man.

Not wanting him to be ashamed, we started using Asperger's to describe his personality & his idiosyncrasies. I accidentally became a spokesperson for reform at schools & spoke in front of  huge groups & to a state Senator. Not because I wanted to, trust me. I have stage fright to the 9 millionth degree. I did it because I was telling my son not to be ashamed. So I spoke up for him & those like him.  Also, there wasn't any information about it then. I had to order books, read, research & find my way. His way. Our way. So I wore that label like a badge of honor because I wanted him to as well.

Today, with Autism growing at an alarming rate, I believe this is an important label. It lets people know that your child is different. There is no need to be ashamed of your child or their beautiful brain. Some of the most famous people are Asperger's. If anything, they should be proud. So should you. Your son or daughter has a unique way of viewing the world. They see things in a way we cannot. As a group Aspie's are responsible for changing the face of music, science, math & entertainment. (Check this out http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/article_2086.shtml)
It also helps teachers, friends, family & the community relate to your child. Often seen as insensitive, one sided, rude or inflexible it provides an instant explanation for their strange personality. When Reid was younger I carried cards with me that explained Asperger's. It helped me remain calm while receiving unsolicited advice from lovely people that thought my parenting could use some work. (Because don't we all need that when our child is in the middle of an epic tantrum? Like I had no idea that it's odd for a SEVEN yr old to come unglued because the store offered a sale on a specific item & they ran out. And now the store is a liar, I'm a liar & the universe is conspiring against him. And he's demanding to talk to the manager. Over $5.00.)

I understand some people cringe at labels. Hoping to avoid their child or themselves being put into some category, forever pigeonholed. I disagree. From the amount of emails, phone calls & texts I get weekly, Aspie's are no small group. The child already knows they are different. From experience, everyone else does too. This is not something you can hide. So why try?  Early diagnosis is critical. Not only does it start therapy early but it retrains bad habits early. Teaching a 7 yr old to not hit, swear or react inappropriately is way easier than teaching a 12 or 13 yr old. And when they get older, it's not only looked at as a bad choice, it's illegal. That opens a whole other world of issues. By then it's a habit. A learned response to a situation. Also, you get support. From other people that have the EXACT issues that you have. And that is awesome. But mostly, and I can never say this enough..it shows your child that you are not ashamed of them. 

Here are some interesting sites :

http://www.templegrandin.com/

http://www.johnrobison.com/about-john.php

http://www.aspergerssyndromeparent.com/famous-people-with-aspergers.html

http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/benefits.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7030731/ns/business/t/mild-autismhas-selective-advantages/

http://redvinesandredwine.com/?p=50